PaulKatcher.com

Review: Fantasy Fest 2006

Now that all my Fantasy Fest 2006 photos have been posted, let's run down some thoughts on one of the most fun parties I've ever experienced.

1. Space Travel Is Fun. A lot of ads imply that that certain vacations feel like being away from reality. Ya know, all worries disappear on a secluded beach or some shit. Well, fuck that. I can turn the lights off in my apartment and feel the same, um, boredom. But THIS was like being on another planet; a friendly, trusting, care-free, oft-energized, hedonistic planet.

2. Anything Is Normal When Everyone Does The Same. A lot of my "normal" friends hear about trips like this and say, "Oh, I could never do that." Perhaps they think it's too "weird." So they go to normal places and meet normal people and it seems so, um, normal. But you can feel comfortable in a any setting. Yep, you really can feel normal parading around shirtless in a Santa hat and Christmas boxers. Just gotta find the right people to hang with. Have you seen the smiles on the people in my photos? Do they seem afraid of being surrounded by weirdos?

3. You Have to Pay to Play. You can't "experience" Fantasy Fest by dropping in to Key West and rollin' about in shorts and a polo shirt. The people are the show, so summon your inner goofball and play a role. Everyone's a bit of a voyeur, but no one's actually impressed by them. As the week wore on, more and more non-participants (i.e. plain-clothed folks) came into town to take in the scene. I didn't care to meet any of 'em. Whatever we may have had in common was trumped by the fact we were so apart in the urge to let go. If you're not gonna dress up, buy the DVD instead. You'll save a lot of money on airfare.

4. You WILL Be Photographed, and May End Up on the Internet. I have never, ever, ever seen so many flashbulbs pop in my life. Common etiquette was to ask to take a photo, or ask if someone will pose with you while a friend takes the shot. I never heard a single person deny a polite request, no matter what they were wearing. And it was kinda addicting. Not in terms of taking photos — I actually took far less than I thought I would — but posing for them. Yeah, even me, surrounded by half-naked and more-than-half-naked women, was being asked to pose for photos, by guys and gals, who thought my outfits were a hoot. (I'm guessing they were not impressed with my beer gut. Good lord, have I let myself go.) The most fun photo-shoots, ironically, was when I posed with a hottie or two and a swarm of cameramen surrounded us like paparazzi. You'd try to look at each one directly, but it was too much too keep up with. And the real hot women must've felt Duval Street was their own red carpet.

5. The Place Attracted Some Douchenozzles, Too. I wouldn't say that too many people were "rude" (my guess is that Mardi Gras is way more obnoxious, though I have never been, and nor do I care to), but the place was infested, late in the week, by plain-clothed photographers and, worse, videographers, trolling about and resembling nothing that added to the festive atmosphere. They sucked, big time.

6. There Was No Price-Gouging. From what I could tell, prices for beer and food during Key West's biggest week were the same as at any other time. A can of Miller Light at Captain Tony's was only $3. At shops along Duval Street, they could be had for only $2. Cabs were pricey ($4 per person/$16 total for our quartet to go home 2 miles away), but that was reported to be the norm.

7. Be Creative With Your Costumes, For Fuck's Sake. There's a Halloween episode of The Office where three of the chicks show up to work dressed at cats, and I wonder how many nimrods missed the joke on how lame it is to dress up as something that's been done, oh, about a million times. At Fantasy Fest, you have to ramp up the creativity even more. And sometimes, you just need an original prop to go along with a common costume, like pimp or gynecologist. The key component to Professor Haywood Jablomey was the Sex 101 lesson book I carried around, with quizzes, homework and a schedule that read, among other things, "PTA Night: Moms Only." Muff Diver allowed me to walk around bars in a swim cap and goggles, something you'd don't see every day. And I wasn't Tickle Me Elmo, I was Tickle MY Elmo, with a picture of Elmo hanging over my shorts. Big difference.

8. Show Up Early in the Week. I got there Sunday, when things were just getting started. Tuesday night, the plaid party at Captain Tony's was rocking. The people who do show early in the week are there for a reason — to party like rock stars. Plenty of people with the same intentions show up later in the week, but you'll find a way higher percentage of voyeurs, too. Overall, though, I never found it too crowded. I was never aggravated at any point by anything. And those who know me know that's saying something.

Fantasy Fest 2006 Links:

• Mark Morrow's Photos — A guy who goes by BengalBoy posted his photos, which I notice are shot a lot from the side and from behind, meaning a lot of "surprise" shots.

• BengalBoy's Toga Night Video on YouTube — Same guy, this time in video format, and none too exciting. But you do get a sense of the street scene, as well as what these video guys were doing, which was basically nothing.

• Photos: Friday Night on Duval Street — Eh, I like mine better.

• Flickr Photos Sorted By Date Added — Over 1,300 as of PK.com press time. Some junk and some good ones. I actually left Saturday evening to get home for the Giants-Bucs game, so I don't have any parade photos. Many of those are here, as well as some of the gay scenes, which were mostly further down Duval Street from where we hung out.

Fantasy Fest 2006 Photos

I still need more time to write a comprehensive review of last week's crazy and fun experience, but my Fantasy Fest 2006 photos have all been posted on Fotki.

A few things to note:

1. The smiles. Everyone who participated in this goof-fest was in full party mode.

2. My expanding gut. Jesus Christ, did I pack it on this summer.

To add a little context to the pictures, here were the four costumes I sported:

1. Professor Haywood Jablomey — Perfect for Captain Tony's plaid party (which attracted a ton of school-girl outfits), Prof. Jablomey came equipped with a ruler and Sex 101 composition book filled with quizzes and homework.

2. Santa Claus — For the red party at Fogarty's, I wore a Santa cap and Christmas boxers adorned with a blue ribbon and two blue ornament balls. Also carried around a sack of beads to give as gifts.

3. Muff Diver — Had those words painted on my chest. Wore a swim cap, goggles and a snorkel, which I drank beer from.

4. Tickle My Elmo — Had those words painted on my chest. Wore a bushy, red wig and sunglasses. Hung a picture of Elmo over the front of my shorts. Probably the stupidest I'd looked in my whole life.

Swimming With the Freaks

Needing a costume idea for Thursday, I received inspiration from the swimming supplies aisle at CVS only a couple of hours before party time.

Swim cap + goggles + snorkel + body paint = Muff Diver.

A huge hit and a ton of fun posing for the gazillion photogs down here. Now I need to come up with something for my last night here...

UPDATE: All my Fantasy Fest 2006 photos have been posted.

And the Beat Goes On...

Another teaser from Fantasy Fest, this one featuring one of the many celebrities spotted Wednesday night ... Borat!

I dressed as Santa for the Red Party at Fogarty's, sporting just a Christmas hat & boxers, sneakers and a couple of well-placed ornaments. Good times, man. Good times.

UPDATE: All my Fantasy Fest 2006 photos have been posted

UPDATE: All my Fantasy Fest 2006 photos have been posted

Fantasy Fest 2006: So Far, So Good

Just found some wi-fi access, so I'll throw out a little teaser for the photos I'll have up late Sunday night.

This one is from Captain Tony's, host of Tuesday's plaid party and a haven for school girls. I dressed as Professor Haywood Jablomey and carried around a ruler and Sex 101 lesson plan, complete with quizzes and homework assignments.

UPDATE: All my Fantasy Fest 2006 photos have been posted

PK.com on Fantasy Fest Hiatus

I'm heading down to Key West on Sunday to participate in a party scene I've been longing to experience for years: Fantasy Fest.

I'll be there for six nights, coming back late Saturday, Oct. 28, then off the Bucs-Giants game the next morning.

You probably won't be hearing from me till late Sunday night, Oct. 30. If all goes as planned, I'll first post what I hope to be a huge gallery of kick-ass photos, and then I'll try to get a report done on Monday.

Have a great week. I know I will. Just look at this extensive schedule of Fantasy Fest parties and events.

Fantasy Fest Links:

• Official Fantasy Fest Website Photo Galleries
• Official Fantasy Fest 2006 Webcams
• Fantasy Fest 2004 Gallery on PBase
• Assload More Fantasy Fest Galleries on PBase
• Fantasy Fest 2005 Gallery on PBase

The Greatest Defensive Play I've Ever Seen?

Before the start of the NLCS Game 7 between the Mets and Cards, I didn't know who the hell Endy Chavez was. In fact, even after his miraculous, two-run-saving catch (and subsequent double-play), I could swear all of Brother Jimmy's was chanting "Andy." But hey, what do I know about minor-league baseball? I'm a Yankees fan.

Still, that goes on the short list of most important and spectacular defensive plays I've ever seen. Perhaps the best.

I know a lot of people are partial to Willie Mays' catch in Game 1 of the 1954 World Series, but I've never drank the Kool-Aid on that one. First, it was Game 1 of the World Series, not even close to being in a fateful, deciding game. Second, this over-the-shoulder business doesn't impress me as much as it might others. It's not like nobody — or even me in softball — has never caught a call with his back to the plate. Don't football players do this all the time? Third, it would be nice to get an accurate account on how far back Mays went to make the play; was it 420 feet, 470, 4,000?

Awhile back, Jayson Stark ran down his top 10 defensive plays ever. Mays' catch is No. 1, and Devon White's grab in the fourth inning of Game 3 of the 1992 World Series is No. 2. I know we all remember how important the fourth inning of Game 3 of the 1992 World Series was.

Chavez' catch on Thursday night, though, was a game-saver, a season-saver (at least for a few innings). Don't blame him for the fact his team could barely scratch out a hit against Jeff Fucking Suppan, which is why that catch was huge in the first place.

Chavez did the robbing and then got robbed. Sometimes in sports you have such a play that waits for the final score to determine whether it's an all-timer or a sentimental flashback to a game/series that ultimately proved disappointing. Yankees fans have three such home runs (Tino and Brosius off Kim and Soriano off Shilling) in the 2001 World Series alone.

You know Chavez was sitting in the dugout thinking, "Just win this game, and I'm the on the cover everywhere Friday." Ain't gonna happen, but man, what a play!

Other Thoughts on Game 7:

• David Wright really is the new A-Rod. Wright went 4-for-25 in the series with two RBIs. Maybe they should trade him to the Cubs! I'll let you judge whether or not Wright's bloop single in Game 7 should even be considered an RBI. Then again, Luis Gonzalez's series-winning hit off Mariano Rivera in 2001 made that piece of crap look like a tape-measure job.

• The offensively loaded Mets scored 15 runs, combined, in the six games other than Game 4.

• The Cardinals won 83 games in the 2006 regular season. They would have finished 14 games behind the Yankees, who hardly fielded their A-team in the last two weeks. Now that he's done licensing urns and caskets, can we petition Bud Selig to move us to to the National League?

• Now that I've had a chance to research it, I was right (bar conversation) ... Mookie Wilson was rooting for his stepson, Preston, to advance to the World Series over his former club, the same club that hasn't won a World Series since Mookie played, oh, a pretty big role in their last World Series. I was there, man. Game 6, 1986 World Series. Thirteen years old in that toilet of a stadium, and I've never seen such bedlam, before or since.

• SI.com's headline after a classic Game 7: "Series-Bound!" Wow, when did they come up with that one, in February? Imagine what they would have written if the Mets had advanced.

• SI.com also has one of their patented "Click a million times, because we're not good enough to compete with ESPN.com for ad impressions" top 10s, this one being Baseball's Best Game 7s. They're in chronological order (which everyone always loves over an actual ranking) and a few just happen to involve the Yankees. One being my most favorite victory ever (if only because we'd already won four World Series in my adulthood), and the other the most heart-breaking.

• Mets fans, I was jealous of you Thursday night. Haven't felt that way in many, many years. Until you lost, then I felt glad I root for a team that wins a World Series more than twice in 45 seasons.

Somebody Kill Me! MLB-Licensed Urns and Caskets on the Way

If you're the kind of cheesy baseball fan who gets a team insignia tattooed on your body, you do NOT want to die this offseason.

That's because, thanks to MLB's licensing agreement with Eternal Image, urns and caskets of the Yankees, Cubs, Dodgers and three other teams will be available by Opening Day.

Dying is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity if ever there was one, so while Tommy Lasorda is commanding you to the TV this postseason, don't go having a heart attack on the way to the tube. Wait till April, when you can go out in style.

This has to be the biggest news coming out of the National Funeral Directors Association's meeting in Philadelphia this week. Man, what a party that's gotta be.

(Thanks, Patrick, for the link)

Today's Web Finds:

• Video: Pam & Jim Uncensored in The Office — Ha, someone finally added a little spice to this sap-fest that threatens to ruin, Wedding Crashers-style, one of only three series I've watched regularly in a decade (Curb Your Enthusiasm, Entourage). Plus, Pam isn't exactly a "catch." Since when is a lack of ambition and horrible taste in fiancés captivating? At least Michael hooked up with Jan. No doubt she takes charge in the sack.

• Association of Professional Animal Waste Specialists — Imagine flying into Vegas on a random weekend, hoping there's some porn awards show scheduled, and finding out the Pooper-Scooper Convention is going on.

• Newscaster Does Faceplant on Skateboard — "I've been practicing hard," she says, a moment before proving that she hasn't practiced hard enough.

• Group Lists 10 Most Polluted Places on Earth — I guess Anna Benson snatch came in at No. 11.

• 'Marlboro Man' Rated Most Influential Imaginary Icon — Well, at least his influence benefited all those lung physicians.

• Best Cable Television Prank Calls (With Video) — Joan Crawford's daughter didn't get abused as much as public-access show hosts.

For the Eagles Fan Who Has Everything

Wednesday's writings can be found on SportsByBrooks.com, where you can read up on:

• eBay: Terrell Owens/Donovan McNabb clock
• Buy/sell football title game rights
• Red Grange looked 50 years old in college
• Slingbox beams WSU game to Cal scoreboard
• Worst sportscasters list without Theismann?
• Rockies fans: team officials are 'idiots'
• eBay: Used Bret Hart wrestling outfit (yuck)
• List: NBA players who should never ink up
• YouTube: Best high school football trick play
• Kevin Federline gets stomped on Monday Night RAW
• 2006 MLB regular-season Win Probability Added totals
• 'New York Papers Now Just Calling A-Rod's Mother a Whore'
• ... and check out my SbB archived posts.

I'm always looking for links to wacky or interesting sports sites and news, so if you come across any, please e-mail them to me.

$25 to Watch Charlie Rose Interview Bruce Springsteen?

Calling oneself a Bruce Springsteen "fan" is always relative. I consider myself one, but there are levels upon levels upon levels of Springsteen fandom, not unlike having "wealth" in New York, being a "heavy gambler" in Las Vegas or acting like a "thug" on the University of Miami football team.

But no matter how Springsteen-crazed one is, I can't imagine anyone being interested in a product Amazon.com recommended to me via e-mail this weekend:

Charlie Rose's Dec. 20, 1998, interview with Bruce Springsteen on DVD ... for $25!

Most DVD purchases confound me. Rentals are about 1/4th of the price (are you gonna watch the same thing four times, and actually pay for each viewing?), and for the cost of 9 DVDs at $20 each you can subscribe to Netflix for an entire year and view, oh, about 50 DVDs (even that is a conservative one-a-week estimate).

Nonetheless, people buy DVDs like mad, stocking their shelves for when 120 channels of TV programming isn't good enough. (Springsteen's 57 Channels (And Nothing On) sure seems dated, huh?).

But $25 to own an interview with Bruce Springsteen? C'mon, man.

For that price on Amazon.com, you can get the 4-CD Live/1975-85 box set, a staple in any Boss collection, or the Live in New York City DVD, also highly worthy of multiple playings.

If you absolutely must view the interview, however, you can buy the hour-long program through Google Videos ... for 99 cents.

And While We're Talking About the Boss...

My favorite Springsteen tribute band, Tramps Like Us, is back in NYC next month for the 5th annual concert to benefit the Marc S. Zeplin Foundation, named on honor of a young father fallen on 9/11.

Tramps Like Us
Saturday, Nov. 18, 8:30 p.m.
Lion's Den — 214 Sullivan St.
Full details and ticket info

I'll be there, and I hope to see many of you as well.

Today's Web Finds:

• YouTube: Miami vs. FlU Football Melee — A little grainy to see who started what or who's to blame, but just listen to the U of M announcer gleefully promote the Hurricanes' thuggish image. I know fans "hate" the Yankees and all, but Torre runs a pretty professional ship. This stuff is plain garbage, and you have to think president Donna Shalala fielded a ton of phone calls from irate professors on Sunday. (Found on Airing of Grievances)

• YouTube: What We Saw on 9/11 — Absolutely powerful video from a woman who filmed the tragedy 36 floors up and 500 yards away from the North Tower. The images are horrific, of course, but it's the sounds — cries of fear and sorrow as the towers crumble — that always get to me.

• Sam Bassett Photography — Got an e-mail from this NYC artist this week after he found something on my site. So I went over to his URL and, wow, such creative work. Plus, a few titties, which never hurt anyone. Not bad for a former captain of the 2000 national champion Syracuse lacrosse team.

• House of Carters Fan: Family Has Right to a Private Life — I watched a little of this show's premiere, because it intrigues me what a young, super-rich guy like Nick Carter aims to benefit by whoring out his family. Fame for the others, maybe? Anyway, I noticed in the credits that Nick is an executive producer, meaning he's the one who is ensuring his family doesn't have a private life.

• Google Gadgets For Your Webpage — Over 1,500 (yep, 1,500) counters, games and randomizers for your site. When I get to redisegning PK.com — ya know, one of these years — I'll add a few. (Found on Reasearch Buzz)

• Drinking With Bob Rant: Paris Hilton gets Punched in the Face — Bob says if this was a TV show, he'd watch Pairs get popped in the grill 24/7. Me, too, man.

• Beyond the Tumult, Rodriguez Is a Key Contributor — Benjamin Hoffman writes in the New York Times that A-Rod is too worthy of a player for the Yanks to give up on, pointing out that he's been far from the only dud in the last three playoff series losses. I agree, and I leave it to the Yanks to determine whether he's too much trouble to deal with. If teammates really do roll their eyes at him, he's gotta go. If not — if he's no worse of a clubhouse loner than others I suspect — then you can't give up that production without equal value in return. Which is still higher than he gets credit for.

WFAN Buries Francesa's Famous Last Words to Lidle

A few media columnists reported Thursday that Mike Francesa and Chris Russo felt especially sorrowful over the tragic passing of Cory Lidle, because of a spirited interview they had with the pitcher Monday, about post-ALDS comments Lidle made that Fat Man and Fruit Loops interpreted as throwing Joe Torre under a bus.

Lidle called into the show to defend himself, and, at one point in the exchange, Lidle said he was not in hiding and instead "trying to enjoy my day in New York."

Russo found this to be soft, saying, "First off, no Yankee fan should enjoy the day in New York ... If I'm a Yankee right now I'm in hiding. I'm not enjoying any day in New York."

(Despite being a huge Yankees fan, I enjoyed my weekend tremendously, albeit in Florida. Hope that was OK with Russo that I have fun with sports and don't let it ruin my fucking life.)

Lidle later told the boobs, "I'd like to meet you sometime and we can sit down and you guys can really get to know me instead of just what you think about me."

Francesa replied, "I haven't thought much about you at all, to be honest with you."

Way to go, Mike! Stay classy.

WFAN had posted audio of the interview, but they took it down. They have kept up plenty of interviews Mike & Dog conducted with people who knew Lidle, about his passing. How sweet of them. Best to make believe the other interview never happened, I guess.

(I listened to the interview Thursday, when the link was still live. God, it was awful. Lidle made no sense trying to explain what his remarks meant, and it sounded like one big argument to nowhere. It didn't sound too heated, though. I couldn't even stick with it to hear Francesa's dig. It was that boring.)

Today's Web Finds:

• Lidle Yankees Jerseys on eBay — How soon after the news broke do you think they ripped the No. 11 SHEFFIELD off these jerseys and sewed on No. 30 LIDLE? And you know the next time something like this happens, twice as many people are gonna run to eBay to make a quick buck.

• The 100 Greatest Days in New York Sports — Saw this book at Borders on Friday. It's cool to see how many great events have happened here. The highest-rated one I attended with No. 11: the Mets' Game 6 victory over the Sux in 1986. Jackie Robinson breaking the color barrier is No. 1. Missed that one in an earlier life.

• Top 40 Music Moments in Film History — This is a cool list, too, ranking movie moments that included only songs that were not recorded specifically for the flick. (Think "Afternoon Delight" in Anchorman.) How Al Czervik dancing to Any Way You Want It did not make this list, I'll never know.

• Why You Should Always Check eBay Feedback — Check out the feedback of this seller with a 96.9% positive feedback rating. Sounds OK, right? But look at the last month: about 1/6th of the customers — over 300 of 'em — are pissed. Why is anyone still buying from them? Check the feedback before buying, dummies.

• The 8 Most Insane Moments in Professional Wrestling — Awesome shit. Two of 'em — the Big Show jumping on his dad's casket as Big Boss Man drives away with it, and Mae Young giving birth to a hand — made me cry laughing. (Found on Gorilla Mask)

• Top 10 Ugliest, Most Embarrassing Fashion Trends of the Past 25 Years — Can I cram any more lists in this post? Stay tuned. (Thanks, Shumpy)

• Top 10 Real World/Road Rules Participants of All-Time — How is there no mention of Jon Brennan (Los Angeles) walking a beach in cowboy boots and a Hulkamania t-shirt?

• P.O.V. Animation of Cedar Point's Maverick Roller Coaster — They should do this for the rides at Six Flags Great Adventure and give you a p.o.v. of the back of people's heads as you wait in ridiculously-long lines in sweltering August heat.

• StrikeTwo.net's List of Yankees Blogs — Good to keep handy for reactions of the inevitable offseason roster acquisitions and releases.

Cory Lidle Memorabilia Spikes Dramatically on eBay

First, my sincere condolences to the Lidle family, and the families of others who perished in Wednesday's tragic events. Also wishing a speedy recovery to those injured and a huge thank you to New York's superb response teams.

Second, much thanks to all those who asked if I was OK. Next time get yourself a map — I live on the opposite side of the island, at WEST 70 Street — but your concern was greatly appreciated.

Third, the only insight I can add to the events themselves was that I had a dodgeball game at 8 p.m. five blocks down at 67 Street and First Avenue, then walked to the postgame bar at 74 Street and First Avenue an hour later. That walk took us about a block away from the crash and, aside from yellow police tape that had been loosened to let pedestrians and cars though, you couldn't even tell anything had happened. And this was a huge news story that broke through scheduled TV programming all over the place. Only in New York.

Now for the point of this post...

As an eBay junkie and former sports memorabilia addict, I'm always intrigued by how auction sellers and bidders respond to the sudden death of an athlete.

Historically, such tragic events cause autograph prices to soar. In a world of supply and demand, death means the end of supply. Demand should really only spike if there's an emotional attachment to the fallen figure, like Dale Earnhardt or Kirby Puckett.

Cory Lidle never matched their popularity, and not even close. Nonetheless, eBay action on Lidle items went crazy on Wednesday. Before his name popped into the news, an autographed ball of his sold for $15. Not more than a minute after that auction closed, another ball began its climb to selling for $318. That item's bidding history shows a very interesting timeline.

The day Kirby Puckett died, I was surprised to see his 1985 rookie cards sell for about 20 times what they could have fetched a day earlier. This made no sense to me. Production of those cards had ended 20 years earlier, and it was doubtful the already popular Puckett picked up any more fans after he died. Plus, one would think the fans who just had to have a Puckett rookie, right away and at any price, would have already had a couple in their collections.

Lidle, however, was known in the card industry as a "common," a player you'd keep only to build a set. From what I can find on eBay, his most sought-after unautographed card is from the 1998 Topps Chrome set. A search of completed items of that card shows that every one of that card sold in recent days sold on Wednesday — after the news, of course. Before the crash, I'd have to estimate the value of the card at 5 cents. In other words, not enough to even warrant an eBay listing. Yet, this listing of the card was fetching $142 as of 1 a.m. ET Thursday.

Why should you be shocked at these values? Because Thurman Munson's 1970 Topps rookie card can be had for far less.

Earnhardt, by the way, was his own eBay story, because they made Earnhardt everything. T-shirts, bumper stickers, replica cars, belt buckles, you name it. Only KISS throws its name on more shit than NASCAR. And the fans eat it up.

And, of course, you see a flood of these items a day or so after news breaks. Takes awhile for greedy bastards to sort through their card boxes. But if someone is willing to give you $140 for a 5-cent Cory Lidle card that, trust me, will not fetch much more than 5 cents a month from now, can't say I blame anyone for going for the cash.

Also see:
• Cory Lidle items on eBay, sorted by highest prices first.
• Cory Lidle "completed" items on eBay, sorted by highest prices first

(Hat tip to my buddy Ayan for pointing out the action on eBay after Lidle's name was announced as the possible pilot.)

Terrell Owens Authors Children's Book ... on Sharing!

Wednesday's writings can be found on SportsByBrooks.com, where you can read up on:

• T.O. now an expect on moral values
• 7-Eleven gets White Sox to start games at 7:11
• Columist: When will Berman stop shouting?
• Did Yankees steal their NY logo?
• eBay: Pittsburgh Steelers schedule watch
• YouTube: "Biggest NHL Fight in History"
• Happy 17th birthday to Michelle Wie
• Boston duped by World Cup Trophy tour
• Call-In-Sick.com, perfect for Manny Ramirez
• Letterman: "Top Ten New York Yankees Excuses"
• Mississippi couple names newborn "ESPN"
• eBay: Game-used A-Rod bat actually has hits in it
• ... and more

I'm always looking for links to wacky or interesting sports sites and news, so if you come across any, please e-mail them to me.

When Freddy's Disgusted, You Know It's Bad in the Bronx

Each of the last few Yankees postseason underachievments have come with their own set of emotions: heartbreak, embarrassment, head-scratching, etc. But this was the first time I was pissed, almost wishing my friends really had burned my Yankees hat, which they contemplated when I left it overnight at the hotel pool in Florida.

I actually laughed when I read the post-ALDS missive from George M. Steinbrenner, who said through his publicist:

"I am deeply disappointed at our being eliminated so early in the playoffs. This result is absolutely not acceptable to me nor to our great and loyal Yankee fans.

I want to congratulate the Detroit Tigers organization and wish them well. Rest assured, we will go back to work immediately and try to right this sad failure and provide a championship for the Yankees, as is our goal every year."

Harsh stuff, perhaps the first time losing three of four to a 95-win team was labeled a "sad failure." But this is a culmination of several years of disappointment. Just a couple of weeks earlier, Steinbrenner had delivered this message of praise:

"Winning the division title is very gratifying to me because it shows the total Yankee organization — on and off the field — demonstrating incredible guts, smarts and quality in the face of adversity and stiff competition."

"It also shows the fantastic loyalty of our great Yankee fans, who've made every game a sellout or near sellout — hanging in and believing in the team. The team kept fighting and the fans kept cheering. This is just the first step and I'm excited about playing hard to win the championship. I'm incredibly proud of every single member of the Yankee family."

And that's the way I felt about the 2006 club, which finished the regular season looking as strong as any team in baseball. That's all you can ask for through 162, no?

A lot of the post-dynasty players we cheered only because of what they could do for us. Meaning, there wasn't much endearing about Kevin Brown or Gary Sheffield or Randy Johnson to make us cheer for them, other that the fact they wore our uniform. But this year was a little different. Melky Cabrera, Robinson Cano and Chien-Ming Wang reap a pittance compared to their counterparts, yet were major cogs in what we considered to be a proud, team effort. I know fans really respected them, as they did Johnny Damon, because the guy actually has a pulse, as does Larry Bowa, whom I loved to see wave around runners like a maniac, as if he was a fan who won a contest to play third-base coach for a night. And how can you not be proud of the way Scott Proctor went out there seemingly every night, in some tight middle- to late-inning spots?

Those guys don't deserve to look back at this season as a "sad failure."

But I don't feel bad for some of the other guys. After the Game 1 victory, it was a total no-show for the next three, making it 3-10 in the Yankees' last 13 playoff games, 0-5 in games that could have put the Bombers into the next round. Any team can win on any given day in baseball, but there's a disturbing pattern here, a complete opposite of the 1996-2001 teams that once won 12 straight World Series games and were almost never pushed to the brink in any series.

Let's get to the questions on everyone's minds:

Should Joe Torre be let go?
Depends on how much of an effect you think a manager has in the postseason compared to the regular season. Sure, anyone who can legibly write a bunch of All-Stars onto a lineup card can have success managing the Yanks, but you couldn't have done better than Torre this regular season or last, and those four World Series rings kinda speak for what's possible under his watch.

I don't know Torre's relationship with Steinbrenner, but it can't be great. And if he's gonna have to put up with a lot of bullshit, I'd rather seem him leave with his dignity and legacy intact. Wanna make a change for change's sake? I can deal with that. But don't drag him through the mud. This past decade has been something we call the Joe Torre Era, and it sure was fun.

Should we get rid of A-Rod?
Probably. He hasn't been nearly as disappointing as Kevin Brown or Randy Johnson or Carl Pavano, but I can't take another season of micro-analyzing everything he does. I'm just sick of it all. The problem, though, is exactly how do you upgrade? He hasn't played like an all-timer for us, but he hasn't been terrible, either, merely a guy who clearly doesn't thrive in the big spot. If he did, we have more than a scant few memorable moments from his three years in pinstripes.

And the problem for Alex is that his career will be forever tarnished if he's sent packing. If he goes to a team like the Angels, he'll have to be MVP of the regular season, and single-handedly win them the World Series, for anyone to forget his real "sad failure" in New York.

I used to say that A-Rod was worth more to the Yankees than any other team, and that he was worth more to us than a player with comparable stats, because he kept us in the spotlight. But it's just embarrassing at this point.

And, as I've written before, there's no question he doesn't have a lot of good friends in the clubhouse. There have been plenty of opportunities for teammates to angrily dismiss charges that he's a a head-case, and nobody ever did.

Who had the best season?
Among many honorable performances — Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera, and the surprisingly resurgent play by Jorge Posada — the fans have to get an A+ again. Another attendance record, a wealth of fan blogs to share victory and defeat, and a healthy level of passion.

I know it sucks now, and Tommy Lasorda can kiss my ass, because I will NOT be rushing to the TV now that my team isn't alive in the postseason, but a spring training trip to Tampa will be just as fun in 2007, and we'll live by a simple rallying cry: "Wait till next year." (God, look what I've been reduced to.)

At Least They Could Have Kissed Me First

After attending Tuesday night's ALDS opener, I headed back out to the Bronx on Wednesday night. Boy, did I get fucked, and it wasn't even good.

When I took my seat at 8 p.m., nine minutes before the scheduled start time, I hadn't known that Paul O'Neill had already thrown what would be the only pitch of the night.

Here's an approximate chronology of how 56,000 fans were taken hostage for two hours:

• 8:15 p.m.: Tarp is brought onto the field, despite no rain

• 8:30 p.m.: After a steady drizzle, Bob Sheppard announces that the game could be delayed for "45 minutes or more," that there will be further announcements, and that the game "WILL BE PLAYED," followed by some disclaimer like "as soon as possible."

• 8:40 p.m.: The JumboTron airs YES network's Yakeeography about the 1996 Yankees. Such a different type of team back then, one that had to get through the more star-studded Orioles and Braves. Still hard to believe Wade Boggs was a postseason platoon player and Tino Martinez didn't even start against Tom Glavine in Game 3 of the World Series, despite 155 games played during the regular season. (Tino hit .188 in 15 postseason games in 1996, didn't even crack .275 in any of the next four playoff series through 1998.)

• 8:45 p.m.: Fans are getting antsy, and text messages abound to friends watching on TV. Word is that they're shooting for a 10 p.m. start, but a stronger storm is due around 11 p.m. Logic says that if they're not gonna start in a drizzle, for fear of not finishing, they're not gonna start at 10 p.m. with a storm due an hour later.

• 9:40 p.m.: Tarp comes off the field to a raucous cheer. Surely they've committed to starting (and finishing) the game. Many minutes pass, but no sight of any player warming up.

• 9:55 p.m.: Tarp goes back on the field. It's not raining. A fool could sense that something major is coming, and that this game will not be played.

• 10 p.m.: Word spreads that the game has been postponed till 1 p.m. Thursday, giving people who cannot attend a weekday afternoon game 15 hours to sell their tickets. Yankee Flu spreads throughout the Stadium — plenty of sick days a comin' — but countless thousands are gonna be stuck with expensive tickets they can neither use nor sell on such short notice.

• 10:10 p.m.: Bob Sheppard, whom we haven't heard from in about an hour and a half, tells us what everyone at home already knows: the game has been postponed till Thursday.

• 10:15 p.m.: Concourses and subways begin to jam as 56,000 people head for the crowded exits, and their way home, at the same time.

In all, a horrible set of circumstances, and the question remains: If MLB wasn't going to risk starting a game (at 8 p.m. with zero to little rain) because of what was to come, why wait till 10 p.m. to postpone the thing (with zero to little rain), because of something worse known to come?

The B-D station was jammed right after the game, so I had to kill some time to even get on a train. When I got off the subway at 72 Street on the Upper West Side around 11:30 p.m., it was pouring so hard I had to take a cab the couple of blocks home. It was pouring like mad, and hasn't stopped in the 90 minutes since. This game never had a chance to be played, and 56,000 fans were held hostage for two hours.

(NOTE: I'm headed to South Florida in about six hours. Back Monday night, and I hope to recap what I expect to be a Yankees ALDS series victory, but we'll see. As the New York Times pointed out, the Yankees have fared better in the ALDS when they lose the first game than when they win.)

Raider Nation Extends All the Way to China

Wednesday's writings can be found on SportsByBrooks.com, where you can read up on:

• Yep, things are that bad in Oakland
• eBay: Original Clay-Liston rematch ticket
• Happy 43rd birthday to virgin A.C. Green
• Womack's double is most clutch hit ever
• StubHub's cool, new roll-over stadium feature
• Video: Chris Russo dancing like an idiot
• Maxim: What athletes hate about sports
• Link between Chris Berman and World Series champ?
• Bob Sheppard works 120th straight Yanks home playoff game
• Shaq not pleased with his new balls
• "If Professional Wrestling Re-Wrote American History"
• Video: Tony Batista scares crap outta Japanese pitcher
• ... and more

I'm always looking for links to wacky or interesting sports sites and news, so if you come across any, please e-mail them to me.

Another Successful Regular Season (For Us) Comes to a Close

Well, the 2006 MLB regular season has ended (final standings), and it sure was fun to be a Yankees fan. But overall, it was kinda blah, no? Not a ton for the history books, and, it feels to me, not a particularly exciting playoff field.

I don't pretend to be in tune with what other teams' fans are feeling, but I can't expect a ton to be too high on Regular Season '06.

Yanks and Twins fans, for sure, have to be thrilled with where they stand. Oakland, I guess, had fun, but nobody will pay attention to them till they win a playoff series. The Tigers and Mets were way more optimistic in June, though New York has the good fortune of playing in a Quadruple-A league. The Cardinals won their division by default. The Padres still haven't shown up for last year's postseason. And the Dodgers, I guess, don't suck as much as the Phillies.

And those are the teams that did make the playoffs.

The season was a straight-up disaster for the Red Sux. If their fans really are happy when they're miserable, then they're dancing a jig today. The Cubs continue to be an embarrassment for big-market teams. The White Sox faded into good-but-not-great status. The Blue Jays spent a ton of money to improve, but never evolved into anything greater than just another team on the schedule. The Indians were a flat disappointment. The Astros finished two games above .500, yet were talked about as a serious NL threat heading into the final weekend. And a ton of teams — the Orioles, Devil Rays, Royals, Rangers, Pirates, Rockies and more — continue their years-long string of blowing chunks.

Or maybe I'm being too hard on RS '06. Just seems to me to have been a little dull. Which, of course, donesn't lend itself to a highly anticipated postseason.

As For the Yankees:

• I was hoping Bernie Williams would start one final time in center field at Yankee Stadium on Sunday. (And yes, that means I hope he never starts out there again.) But he got to play manager, so I guess he didn't want to give himself the nod, even though it would have been cool as hell to see him come off for a defensive replacement, as did Jeter late in the game. Bernie really deserved a moment like that after 15 years — and four Gold Gloves — at the most hallowed position in sports.

• Great news about Randy being a go for Game 3. Gotta be the most anxious a 97-win team (that hardly tried to win its last 10) has ever been about the health of a 5.00 ERA pitcher heading into the postseason.

• Mariano Rivera finished the season with a 1.80 ERA — his fourth straight under 2.00 — and about a half-run better than his career mark of 2.29, the best, by far, of any qualifying pitcher during his career. Unreal.

• Shawn Chacon and Aaron Small had ERAs of 7.00 and 8.46, respectively. The clock didn't just strike midnight. It knocked it out cold. (Team pitching stats.)

• I'll be at the Stadium, in the crappy left-field bleachers, Tuesday night, and possibly Wednesday (update: definitely Wednesday). God help me get through watching a game 550 feet from home plate, in a no-alcohol section, with people constantly standing on my seat to get a better look at everything.

• Good luck, A-Rod. Eleven wins could put an end to a lot of bullshit. (But only if you do 20% better than everyone else, I guess.)