Sports:

• Syracuse Wins Ninth Men's Lacrosse Title — A record-setting attendance of 43,898 sees my alma mater add some hardware in Michael Powell's final game.

• Why Athletes Pee on Their Hands — A Slate explainer inspired by Moises Alou's admission that he urinates on his hands to toughen them up. Alou doesn't use batting gloves, and I'm guessing he doesn't know they exist, because they seem like a pretty reasonable alternative to giving oneself a golden shower. (All of the Red Sox wear batting gloves, but Manny Ramirez likes to step in crap to make him faster.)

• William Hung Butchers 'Take Me Out to Ball Game' — The Bombers should drop an extra three homers on the Blue Jays for letting this happen. Haven't we arrived at Hung's 16th minute yet?

• Phil Mushnick Reflects on Warner Wolf's Career — I don't know how much of a splash Wolf made outside of New York and Washington, but the recently fired sportscaster was a pioneer in, as Mushnick explains, engaging the 80 percent of local news viewers who aren't real sports fans. Wolf was famous for interjecting lines like "Let's Go to the Video Tape!" and "Gimme a Break!"

• John Kruk: Karl Malone's a Cheapshot Artist — Just a small item at the end of the mostly baseball column from the mostly cellulite former baseball player. As far as "celebrity sportswriters" go, this guy's pretty good. Looks like he's putting in a real effort. The column doesn't have a ghost-written feel, like Dick Vitale's and John Madden's.

Web Finds:

• Rate Your Sex Drive — Liquid Generation's simple Flash quiz to help you determine whether you're a sex machine or wet napkin. Too bad Wilt Chamberlain's no longer around to give this a shot. He'd probably break it anyway.

• What Your Girl's Sleeping Position Says About Her — Playboy.com's "sleep expert" assumes the positions and analyzes the sexual vibe emanating from each. Here's to The Starfish!

• Operation: Take One for the Country — A women's group dedicated to "discretely provide U.S. troops shipping out overseas with the most sensually pleasing departure possible." The operation's organizer, Donna, says there are no headquarters and the mission spreads by word of mouth. She said mouth. Hu-huh. (And I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt and trust this site was really started by a woman and not an Army guy who happens to know HTML and hasn't gotten laid in awhile.)

• Broward Hot Spots' Bikini Contest Pics — Alex's site is always worth a visit. Check out this photo of a hot chick on a stage. There's one guy at the bar, and the fucker's not even looking. Hey, Siegfried, turn around!

• 300 Images From 1800 Sites — A graphical survey of icons used on a number of sites. A little something for you web designers out there.

• The River IQ Game — Follow the link atop this page to waste work time trying to get an entire family, a cop and a thief across a river, two at a time.

News:

• Nikki Sixx Throws Bass at Fan — More juicy gossip from Metal Sludge. One Motley Crue bassist. One middle finger. One kid lying in a pool of blood.

• Snoop Dogg Files for Divorce — This guy's been married for seven years? Did she help produce the porno movies? Is Snoop the biggest caricature of himself, or are Christopher Walken and William Shatner still tied for that honor?

• Scott Wolf Marries Hot Chick From Real World New Orleans — First Alyssa Milano and now Kelley Limp, that Party of Five dude is getting all my favorite chicks.

• Scholars Say Bush Campaign Is Making History With Often-Misleading Attacks on Kerry — A Washington Post story on how the incumbent leads the challenger in negative charges and untruths. This being politics, neither is completely innocent. I can't wait for those debates. Gonna make Ali-Frazier look like Astaire-Rogers.

• Bloggers Find Ways to Profit — A San Francisco Examiner report on the various ways site owners can turn those eyeballs into cash. I think it's a violation of my agreement with Google to disclose how much I've made since I added some simple code atop my hundreds of archive pages (example), but it's been very much worth the few minutes to implement.

New York:

• MTA Mulls Ban on Photography in Subway System — Yeah, imagine if the terrorists find out that all you have to do to get on a subway is to slide a plastic card through a turnstile. Shhhhhhh!

• Bill Clinton Update: Screw the Upper West Side — Damn, after reading the New York Post's initial report, I was looking forward to doing shots with Slick Willie at Yogi's.

• Pac-Manhattan — An analog version of the game played on the streets of NYC. They should get some Scores strippers to dress as ghosts. Then I'd let them catch me — three times!

• Ask the Expert: The Doorman — A Q&A with the man who knows more about you than your mother. Your friendly neighborhood doorman, who sees when, how and with whom you come home. Do they really act nicer to residents toward the end of the year? Find out.

• NYC Rental Car Deals — Renting a car in the city has got to be one of the most humbling experiences. It's ridiculously expensive — a five-day rental from the Upper West Side is $489.95 — and it's incredibly hard to find one available on summer weekends. Manhattan User Guide has some tips.

• Terry Divyak's New York Trip Report/Photos — A professional photographer whose bodies of work I've linked to before, recaps his experience in the Big Apple. He's got a funny photo of six guys gawking at a hottie passer-by and makes an astute observation on the shapes and sizes of our residents. "The most interesting thing that I noticed is there were very few overweight people within the city. And the ones who were, looked like they were tourists." We've got a few chunk monsters, too, but Terry's pretty much right on. To quote master thespian Dick Butkus in Hamburger... The Motion Picture: This is no porker's paradise!