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Tuesday, September 16, 2003

Monday Nightmare Football: Cowboys 35, Giants 32 (OT)

Dear God,

Dude, what was up with that? Why do you torture me every time I attend a Giants game?

Was the 91-yard punt by Randall "The Devil" Cunningham in 1989 not enough? I was only a 16-year-old kid, man. And it was fucking freezing. Did you have to ruin my Monday night in 1994 when Lawrence Taylor's number was retired at halftime? Dave Brown set the place on fire with a game-tying sneak with seven seconds left in the first half. After No. 56 was honored, the Giants stunk worse than an East Rutherford landfill.

But this takes the cake. Eighteen unanswered points in the fourth quarter to take a three-point lead with 11 seconds left and — I can't even write this — we lose the only way possible: with a kickoff out of bounds that takes no time off the clock AND a long completed pass AND a converted 52-yard field goal AND losing the overtime coin toss AND failing to move the ball after we got it back AND another scoring drive by the guy who went from Joe Schmoe to Joe Montana in four hours, Quincy Carter.

I mean, I know I got these sorta decent pictures and all, but next time why not spare me the trip to Jersey and just have someone come to my door and kick me in the nuts 10 times?

Sincerely,
Paul

Other Sports Links:

ESPN.com's NFL Power Rankings — Six of the top eight are AFC teams. Does the author note this in the intro? Nope.

Making a Play for Players — The New York Daily News goes inside the world of sports groupies. Like rock groupies, except the targets look less like David Lee Roth and more like Derek Jeter.

Mushnick: Madden Will Do Anything for a Buck — The New York Post's Phil Mushnick on a controversial commercial in which Madden and Outback Steakhouse see the lighter side of being knocked out in a football game. He also calls Chris "Mad Dog" Russo an "idiot."

Category: Sports | Permalink | Post a Comment (11)


Comments: Monday Nightmare Football: Cowboys 35, Giants 32 (OT)

I watched that finish at the airport. Possibly the biggest choke i've ever seen!

Posted by D at September 16, 2003 10:16 PM

I can't imagine what it was like to be there last night. I had to work, so I couldn't watch on TV. I agonized over every excrutiating word written about it this morning. But watching? Live? Ouch.

Posted by bhw at September 16, 2003 10:50 PM

I think I saw Bryant's face on the goat trailer and Shockey played like a girl. How 'bout them Cowboys!!

Anyway, I enjoy reading your rag, even though I'm in Texas. Keep up the good work!

Posted by satch at September 16, 2003 11:31 PM

Forgot to include this info: Players jerseys of all kinds fill the stadium. Almost all of the dark blue variety. The most popular current player, by far, is Jeremy Shockey (who also got the loudest pregame cheer).

Of course, there are also the jerseys that raise eyebrows, like the No. 2 Rodney Williams (failed punter from last season) and No. 94 Michael Brooks (linebacker from the Dan Reeves era).

Posted by Paul Katcher at September 17, 2003 12:42 AM

I fear that I will be writing a similar letter to The Almighty in two weeks when I travel to watch my beloved Bears open the new Soldier Field against the hated Green Bay Packers. The stadium is a monstrosity from the outside, the Bears have played horribly so far and they are 4-18 against their fiercest rival since that ass clown Favre came into the league.
In addition, unbelievably, they asked the NFL to schedule the opener against the Packers. Don't they have any clue? As a fan, I want to show up on that night -- an historic night -- and see the Bears win. I have no interest in showing up and watching that turd Favre march up and down the field at will. I really hate that guy!
Why, oh why, couldn't they have requested the Cardinals? It would have been so nice to go to the opening of the new stadium and watch a win. Instead, our fate is sealed.

Posted by Joe DiGiovanni at September 17, 2003 3:02 AM

I see a pattern here...
Have you noticed every time that Shockey trash talks or says something inappropriate about a person and/or a whole team--the Giants lose to them? Tape his mouth shut because the Tuna is not a homo he is the coach of the team that beat you in OT Monday night. Granted, the Cowboys did not play their best game they just out played the Giants in the first half. But as history has proven, the Cowboys always have the lead in the first half with the Giants, and then the Giants always comeback and win...NOT THIS MONDAY NIGHT! Yayyyyy!

I love the link to about sports groupies. I am friends with a NHL player, and it amazes me what women offer him. He and I go out to bars locally (we are just friends) and women proposition him right in from of me-how do these women know he isn't with me? Or that I am not his wife? Truth be told- the real sports groupies don't care. He is always telling me tales of the sports groupies (a/k/a puck suckers)and at times I am even shocked and I am far from prude. One night he pointed out a groupie that he nailed and he later found out that she slept with 1/2 of the Eagles, a few of the Phillies one of the Sixers and another one of his teamates. He was a rookie, it was his first groupie and he didn't know that she was the most used piece of equipment in the gym. We laugh about it because he is the only one that didn't have to by her anything (tits, jewelry, etc.).

Posted by Cass at September 17, 2003 8:06 AM

Given the history of both of these teams going in and the fact that it is the Cowboys for God's sake, I was as shocked as anyone to see them pull off a win.

Despite the outcome I thought the tension was epic for a Monday night game.

Posted by A.J. at September 17, 2003 9:15 AM

My two favorite teams are my hometown Saints (I know, I know, lay off) and ANYONE who plays the Dallas Cowboys in the Post Tom Landry era.

Sints are giving way to my Texans (cheerleader "magazine", not calendar, due out soon and let me tell you, compliments to the plastic surgeons)

I think Giant's problem is Fassel. Something about him makes me feel that (despite his apparent football acumen [I mean how in the hell could he have "arrived" otherwise])he just seems to not have the players with him.

Posted by JC at September 17, 2003 11:48 AM

Since it is a bye week for my team- the Cowboys- and my hometown team- the Eagles ( I know that the Eagles blow)- I have put my money on the Giants this week. If they can't beat the Redskins, then they might as well pack up their shit and call it a season.

Seriously, I put $ on the game and also took them in my office pool--they better fucking show up to this game. Looks like the Eagles and the Giants are going to be looking for new coaches next season...

Posted by Cass at September 17, 2003 11:59 AM

Hopefully the Dolphins show up Sunday night because we can't afford to lose to the Bills, although the Bills are un-stoppable right now. I can't handle another loss, especially when I'm flying from CT to Miami to see the game!!!

Posted by Livia at September 17, 2003 12:09 PM

Sorry, Livia-- but my $ is on the Bills, too:)

Posted by Cass at September 19, 2003 11:11 AM
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