Here's how Head 2 Head works: I throw out a debate between two people, places or things, and you settle it by posting a comment.
Today's question: Who ruled Santa Monica real estate better: the team of Stanley and Helen Roper or the swingin' single, Ralph Furley?
Stanley and Helen Roper: The Beast and the Beast
Pros: A double-dose of fixed-income hilarity. Stanley might have been Roper the Moper for 29 minutes of each show, but he was always good for a dry one-liner at the end. Helen, meanwhile, was the funniest woman on the show, which is like being the best music teacher at a school for the deaf. Classic Mr. Roper episode: "Stanley Casanova," in which Mr. Roper mistakenly thought he was a ladies man in Larry's league.
Cons: Roper? I hardly know her. And thank goodness, judging from that tacky wardrobe and clunky jewelry. Anyone else get squeamish when the Ropers made up and kissed at the end of one of their many misunderstandings (typically caused by misinterpreting something heard from the other side of the kitchen's swinging door)? Also, major points taken off for that damn parakeet.
Ralph Furley: People's Least Sexiest
Pros: Went by his tougher yet more suave alter-ego, "R.F." when standing up to his domineering older brother Bart, or when saddling up to the made-of-construction-paper-and-Elmer's-glue bar at the Regal Beagle. We're going pro on the snort, which usually came at the end of a zinger that painted Jack as a guy who dances with his hands above his head. The joke, of course, was always on Furley, since Jack was really a bisexual. And those suits! Major bonus points. Classic Mr. Furley episode: "Ralph's Rival" in which R.F. pretended to be an oil baron to impress an old mate of equally pathetic proportions.
Cons: Furley was such a pussy, The French army hired him to give motivational speeches. Also made like a born-again Christian and never had sex. And he wasn't even religious.
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