I don't have a top 10 for you this week, because I just got back from New Orleans and my tank's on empty. I'm trying to figure out how I'm still alive after this weekend in the drunkest (3 for 1 specials everywhere), smelliest (imagine vomiting in a vat of egg drop soup and mopping the street with it), loudest (music everywhere and so, sadly, were bigots), most sexually charged (details will not be divulged here) city I've been to. One of these days, I'll do a PK.com travel guide, and you'll hear how it compares to other party spots like South Beach, Key West, Cancuun, etc.
Along those lines, I apologize if this site hasn't been up to snuff lately. I know I haven't found it as funny. But bare with me as I get through an extremely busy summer. Next week's update will come on Monday night, as I have wedding obligations to tend to: like getting drunk at one.
I wanna do a top 10 of Lamest Vanity Credit Cards (inspired by WCW and KISS versions). If you have suggested ones, e-mail me.
* Girls in Rubber Boots — Mac, a 39-year-old native of Tokyo, has collected 53 pages of photos of women wearing rubber boots. I was just saying to someone the other day that a man could make a mint of such an enterprise. But it appears I am again late to the party and Mac is the one who will soon be able to afford a 24-karat gold yacht. (Thanks, Dave)
* If They Mated — The online companion to the familiar Conan O'Brien bit in which we see what offspring of potential famous couples would look like. Here's a marriage I'd like to see: Osama's ass and my foot.
* Low Budget Superheroes at Brian's Drive-In Theater — Before the hard-shell muscles of Michael Keaton as Batman, our super heroes really dressed as a bunch of pussies. C'mon, man, I could kick George Reeves' ass.
* Ozzy Osbourne Soundboard — The wisdom of Ozzy now at your fingertips. I never even saw the damn show, but I guess some of you did. I'm waiting for the reality TV show about the Stryper guys. That would be some sick stuff.
* Pirated Sites — An archive of sites whose designs have been stolen from others. I don't want that to happen to PK.com, so I have this thing looking like hell for two years.
* Exposing a Softcore 'Survivor' — The Smoking Gun uncovers the Skinemax work of "Survivor" cast member Brian Heidik. From the pictures on the site, it looks like good work if you can get it.
* The Princeton Review's Top Party Schools — A college guide ranks Indiana as the top party school in the country, with my alma mater, Syracuse, nowhere in the top 20. So what the hell was I doing in bars five nights a week?
* Quiz: Are You a Girl? — Maxim puts your testosterone to the test.
* Abercrombie & Fitch Interviews the Hilton Sisters — The New York socialites tell us that it's better to be poor than fat. And that's the interesting part of their answers. (Pictures from Paris Hilton's birthday party.)
* Rules for Working at Tens — See the employee manual of one of New York's finest strip clubs, left behind by someone who forgot rule No. 1: don't embarrass the club by leaving behind your employee manual, dimwit.
* FOXSports.com: The real top sports cities — Randy Hill responds to The Sporting News annual designation by naming Chicago (what?!) the best American sports city. New York outpaces the Second City in world championships something like 4,342 to 7.
* Peter King: Terrell Davis is no Hall of Famer — One of the 38 Hall of Fame voters says the Broncos' star sustain greatness long enough to merit induction. I agree.
* What to do with 9/11 hijackers' remains — Human remains of nine of the hijackers have been recovered from the Pennsylvania and Pentagon crash sites. A full-fledged piss-a-thon is certainly in order.
* Jim Rome: FSU's Misguided "Let's Roll" T-Shirts — The sports radio host blasts Florida State's football program for using 9/11 as a motivation on the field this season. He says, "you simply cannot use the events of this day in any way, shape or form for motivational purposes or to get some competitive advantage. This topic is off limits." I couldn't have said it better myself.
* Families' Fiscal Fury — Survivors of emergency workers received seven times more money from charity than those of civilians killed in the World Trade Center attacks. An unfortunate result, in my view, of good intentions.
* NEA delivers history lesson — The National Education Association is suggesting to teachers that they be careful on the first anniversary of the September 11 attacks not to "suggest any group is responsible" for the terrorist hijackings that killed more than 3,000 people.
* CNN: America Remembers — The news site's 9/11 retrospective is a powerful multimedia experience with plenty of emotional commentary from its staff.
* Broward Hot Spots — Alex has updated his site featuring foxes from South Florida. Gee, what should I do with those remaining three weeks of vacation I have this year?
* Dalene Kurtis — 2002 Playmate of the Year.
* Georgia Cobb — Green-eyed model and actress.
* Kara — Hot babe with no last name. Until we get married.
Among the topics I'm going to cover in the future are novelty credit cards, classic jump the shark moments and an NFL preview.
Send your link suggestions now.
and see what you missed.
Recent issues include Spring Break, the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Before that we (un)covered Mardi Gras 2002.
