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The winner of the Best Looking Mets Fan contest
Chuck Zito: American Badass
Reason No. 2,654 to not go to WNBA games: seats obstructed by hairy armpits
The wet look gets all the girls at the office
Looks like Adam found some cheeseburgers among those trees, too
I love fruit
Tonya Elliott used to weigh 200 pounds. Amazing
When Dee Ann performs the wax-on, I think about the wax-off
Daisy Fuentes in Stuff
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NYC LINKS
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MurphGuide.com — A daily guide to bar specials and events
Who's on First — Upper East Side bar with superstars Chaundra and Liani on Thursday nights
Mr. Hipster — Hands-down the wittiest bar and restaurant reviews in the city. If the Mr. Hipster hasn't reviewed it, it's not worth going to.
NYCBP.com — If you pick your bar depending on what hot bartenders are working, this is your resource.
NetworkingGirl — Christan's always organizing events for NYC singles to get in bed with each other. Go see what she's got going on this week. Also see her Singles of the Week.
NYsolo.com — Coordinates activities for busy New Yorkers. Use "Molly McMillan" as reference.
Dodgeball — NYCers rate bars and post reviews — and without the bridge-and-tunnel reviews that infect CitySearch.
* Got an NYC-centric site to plug? Let me know.
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The movies are about more than sappy love stories, $6 sodas and the creep in a raincoat at the end of the row. There's also the music. In some cases, the songs have a more lasting effect than the movies themselves. Here are my favorites...
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10. YOU'RE THE BEST, Joe "Bean" Esposito
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Movie: The Karate Kid
Sample Lyric: "You're the best around! And nothing's gonna ever keep you down!"
The Skinny: To hell with Miyagi's bullshit massage. The reason Daniel-san was able to overcome the sweeping of the leg from Cobra Kai is because someone was there to tell him, yes, YOU are the best around. Without this anthem, we may never have been treated to the crane.
Link: Karate Kid Soundtracks
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9. LYDIA'S TRIP
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Movie: Orgasmatron 75
Sample Lyric: "boom-chica-bam-bam"
The Skinny: It's nearly impossible to pick the definitive porn background song, but this is what a Google search turned up, so deal with it. For a more expert opinion, ask the Asian couple in the building next to mine. They're always watching porn with the curtains open.
Link: Deep Note: Music of 1970s Adult Cinema
Link: Porn Music Radio
Link: Exploring 1970s Porn Music
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8. CAMPTOWN RACES, Stephen Foster
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Movie: Swanee River
Sample Lyric: "De Camptown ladies sing this song, Doo-dah, Doo-dah"
The Skinny: A derivative of this 152-year-old favorite of Foghorn Leghorn is a staple at Yankee Stadium. Try it like this: "Piazza takes it up the ass. Doo-dah. Doo-dah." Also works for Nomar.
Link: The Foghorn Leghorn Fan Club
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7. ZIP-A-DEE-DOO-DAH
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Movie: Song of the South
Sample Lyric: "Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay. My, oh my, what a wonderful day."
The Skinny: This song resonates decades after it was socially acceptable to write songs that begin Zip-A-Dee. Remember how Clark Griswald was a big fan? Let me remind you: "You'll be whistling Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah out of your assholes!"
Link: Listen to MIDI version
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6. NERDS RAP, Anthony Edwards and Co.
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Movie: Revenge of the Nerds
Sample Lyric: "We got Poindexter on the violin, and Louis and Gilbert will be joinin' in"
The Skinny: I didn't much like school until I saw Revenge of the Nerds and realized that college was filled with drunk women who would sleep with men named Booger and Gilbert. So I hit the books and dreamed of attending Syracuse University, where I would sleep through 90% of my classes freshman year
Link: Lyrics to Nerd Rap
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5. OLD TIME ROCK 'N' ROLL, Bob Seger
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Movie: Risky Business
Sample Lyric: "Today's music ain't got the same soul. I like that old time rock and roll."
The Skinny: What's better than seeing Tom Cruise dance in his underwear? Well, everything. But especially Rebecca DeMornay naked, which was the saving grace of this movie that taught me that prostitutes are people, too. And stay away from guys named Guido
Link: Rebecca DeMornay Pictures
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4. THE RIDDLE SONG
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Movie: Animal House
Sample Lyric: "I gave my love a cherry that had no stone"
The Skinny: If you're gonna smash a guy's guitar into a million bits, you've gotta follow up with an apology. Bluto did just that and showed the youngsters in the audience that it's possible to have good taste in music AND manners
Link: Animal House Quotes
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3. YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR HAT ON, Joe Cocker
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Movie: 9 1/2 Weeks
Sample Lyric: "Baby, take off your dress. Yes, yes, yes."
The Skinny: While Joe Cocker was getting high with a little help from his friends, Mickey Roarke was getting Kim Basinger to strip for him. Mickey wins. Also up for consideration for the film: Ice T's "Let's Get Butt Naked and Fuck"
Link: Ice T's L.G.B.N.A.F Lyrics
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2. FAME, Irene Cara
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Movie: Fame
Sample Lyric: "I'm gonna live forever. I'm gonna learn how to fly. High!"
The Skinny: Sure, it's the gayest movie of all-time. (I've never met a Leroy who wears leg warmers.) But it's a great song to play in the morning to get your self-confidence up ... before heading to work and playing the role of a pawn for a major company whose CEO is going to fleece your nest egg. You peasant.
Link: All About Fame
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1. GONNA FLY NOW, Bill Conti
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Movie: Rocky
Sample Lyric: "Getting strong now, won't be long now, getting strong now"
The Skinny: The most inspirational song of all time, and judging from the number of kids running behind Rocky, it's a pedophile's dream. Every time I hear it, I make plans to lose 20 pounds, cure cancer and build a house — in the next week.
Link: Listen to MIDI version
Link: Theme From Rocky XIII (Rye and the Kaiser)
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RANDOM WEIRDNESS
* Incredibly Strange Wrestling — This should be enough to get you over there: "The Poontangler is a two-fisted n' big breasted white trash mama hailing from the deep South." Sounds a lot like Brett Butler.
* Karmitage — A complete episode and character guide to one of my favorite television programs ever: The Muppet Show. Stadler and Waldorf are my heroes.
* The Joys of Wet Clothing — From the pool to the office, with no inconvenient shower in between.
* Chuck Zito's Official Web Site — Do not skip past the Flash intro with the "Eye of the Tiger" audio. And the pic of Chuck and Bill Clinton is worth hunting for. There's even cartoons of him kicking Van Damme's ass at Scores.
* The Turkish Wizard of Oz — Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Istanbul anymore.
* The Best Selling Albums of All Time — Hootie & the Blowfish check in at No. 14 with 16 million of "Cracked Rear View' sold. I think their last album sold like 1,382.
* Famous Locations — A site dedicated to the filming locations of thousands of movies. Did you know "The Blob" was filmed at Louie Anderson's house?
* Masterpiece: In Cold Blood — Salon recalls Truman Capote's greatest novel, about a family in Kansas that had been bound, gagged and shot dead, with no apparent motive. Easily among the top five books I've ever read.
* Are You Cool? — Take this simple test to find out. (Thanks, Jenna)
* Count Dante — The only 300-pound combination of rock, wrestling and motivational speaking. (Thanks, Gideon)
* Top 10 Conservative Idiots — With control of Congress up for grabs in November, it's time for pocket-protected geeks to sling mud.
GUYCRITICAL.COM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
A guy who portends to know nothing about women, but everything about the better sex answers one question a week from anonymous women using the GuyCritical.com service.
THE SPORTSDESK
* MLB Player Power Poll — Baseball execs rank MLB's top 50 players. The Yanks have the most, of course, with seven (including five of the top 19) and that doesn't even include Bernie Williams, who kicks the living hell out of Mike Lowell, who came in at No. 45. The Mets had only two players on the list, and that has a lot to do with one simple fact: they suck.
* Fantasy Football: 15 Key Questions — Commissioner.com's managing editor tries to predict the future in a league in which every third player suffers a season-ending injury by Week 4.
* 2002 College Football Bowl Projections — Why bother with a preseason Top 25 when you can predict who will fill all 56 bowl slots. Someone tell this guy that Syracuse went 10-3 last year. They're nowhere to be found here.
* 2002 Best Sports City: Boston — It was definitely a resurgent year for the sports city us New Yorkers love to hate: and beat relentlessly. The Pats deserve credit, but the Red Sox, as always, can go screw a goat.
* Criminal Sports — Follow the off-field exploits of athletes who like to wear a different type of pinstriped uniform.
LAND OF THE FREE, HOME OF THE BRAVE
* More Than 500,000 New Yorkers may Have Developed Posttraumatic Stress Disorder — I'm sure the media coverage in the next month is going to be very tough on many. (Project Liberty: Feel free to feel better)
* WTC Proposals: CNN.com Visitor Submissions — Many heartfelt designs for what should be done with the area.
* Lost Voices of Firefighters, Some on the 78th Floor — A recently released audio tape indicates that firefighters climbed higher than anyone had thought — and they saw people ravaged by the explosion.
* Air Florida Flight 90: 20 Years Later — Those who lost family members when this flight skidded into the Potomac River two decades ago warn that emotional recovery has no timetable. The last thing I want to see on Sept. 11, 2002, is some kind of celebration that "we made it." There's a lot of work for all of us to do, as friends to those most deeply hurt.
* Pornographer says he hacked al-Qaeda — A hero in more ways than one.
THE NEWSDESK
* Broken Promises and Political Deception — Al Gore rips the hell out of the Bush administration, saying that they are not being forthright about Cheney's involvement with energy company lobbyists. Slate's response: Gore's a dope. Another NY Times editorial tells Gore to get lost.
* The 'Shame' of Rape — Salon examines an issue I brought up a couple of weeks ago: whether or not hiding the identity of rape victims benefits anyone.
* Tourists fall into tank full of sharks — So whatcha got for lunch around here? You. (Thanks, Brad)
THE WEEKLY LADIES
* Amaginations Photography — Photographer Andy McFarland's portfolio of hot broads.
* Daisy Fuentes — She's horrible on "America's Funniest Home Videos" but she's smokin' with next to nothing on in Stuff.
* Fast Eddie's Thong Thursdays — It's like a Victoria Secret show where the models are all drunk. (Found on Fark.com
* Tonya Elliott — A fitness model who weighed 200 pounds just a few years ago. Diet and exercise works, my friends. It's one of life's few indisputable truths. The other is that you should never fall asleep on a subway.
NEXT WEEK
I'm not sure yet what I'll do next week.
Send your link suggestions now.
THE ARCHIVE
Missed a week of PaulKatcher.com? Shame on you.
Hit the archive and see what you missed.
Recent issues include Spring Break, the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Before that we (un)covered Mardi Gras 2002.
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