I'm not going to lie to you. This is the worst update on this site in months.
There's no theme or purpose this week — kinda reminds me of the Knicks — so I just threw a bunch of random things out there to see if anything sticks. (Again, kinda like the Knicks.)
* Most Popular Searches at Find A Grave — I thought for sure David Caruso would be one of them. Then I remember he wasn't dead — just his career.
* A Life's Work: Mr. Clean — A XXX video booth mop boy comes clean on, well, cleaning come. If any of you know this guy personally or (god help you) professionally, you're banned from this site.
* The Amazing World of Colorgenics — Put some colors in order of preference and get a diagnosis of your personality. Or you can skip it, because you already now what kind of a person you are. Duh.
* Vote on the New Seven Wonders of the World — This list of nominees is dominated by international bodies of work. And I'm not talking about Heidi Klum.
* Dead Elvis' Mardi Gras Links — Chip updated the bottom of his massive Mardi Gras portal with a bunch of 2002 recap sites. It's like experiencing the whole thing without some Texan tourist puking on you.
* Jenna Jameson Action Figure — There's now a grand total of two Jennas made out of plastic.
* Playboy Poll: Sexiest Babe in the LPGA — Take any two of the following words — balls, rough, hole, grass — and make your own joke.
* Rewind With Donna D'Errico — Nikki Sixx's wife participates (again) in Metal Sludge's 20 questions.
* Take the NFL Draft Wonderlic IQ Test — Bengals punter and Harvard grad Pat McInally is the only player ever to score a perfect 50. What, no Ray Lewis?
I got one wrong (No. 11) in this abbreviated version. A supplementary article sheds light on average scores by position and by industry outside the NFL. Is it any shock that the guys who get hit the most (RBs) score the least?
(Read comments on Metafilter.)
* Hey! It's That Guy — The site that attaches names to actors previously known only as "That Guy!"
Example: Who's specialty is southern sheriffs and generally bad-ass lawmen?
Example: Who's specialty is sneering, slightly unhinged authority figures?
Example: Who's specialty is baffled men with a shady past?
Thanks (I think) to Mark, Liani and Chaundra of Who's on First for getting me (and my friends) so drunk on my 29th birthday that I:
• Couldn't communicate with the cabbie where I lived
• Couldn't walk when he dropped me off 15 blocks from my apartment
• Lost my wallet
The next time I go in that place, it'll be with my lawyer.
See some new pics on the bar's web site.
* Alan Jackson's "Where Were You?" — Call me a patriotic sucker (I owned a Lee Greenwood album before 9/11), but I thought Alan Jackson's song perfectly captures the gamut of emotions felt by New Yorkers (the only people I can speak for) on 9/11. Except for the line about buying a gun. We're still liberal here.
* The Insidious Virus of Illegal Music Downloading — Read a transcript of Recording Academy President/CEO Michael Greene's address during the telecast — the one during which I had to barf three times. (Read tons of reactions at Metafilter.)
* Fairtunes — A way to pay artists online after pillaging them via a P-to-P network. Wanna know how much has been donated to U2 so far? A whopping $104.30, with one stooge donating $50, or the cost of three albums, and another reaching deep into his pockets for 30 cents.
* More than 3,767 civilians killed by U.S. bombs in Afghanistan — A friend of mine tipped me off that more Afghan civilians have been killed by the U.S. than Amercians were killed by the 9/11 attacks. It's never been about eye-for-an-eye. Every life counts; it's so sad all around.
* World Trade Centers Collapse: A Week in Photos — Incredible amateur photography of the day the black smoke blew across the blue sky. Best of the bunch:
• People on Brooklyn Bridge turn to see Tower One implode
• A rescue truck flies solo to help
• FDR Drive before collapse | FDR Drive after collapse
* How Bloggers Reacted on 9/11 — A ton of links that serve as an archive of the Blogger community on the day of the attacks.
* Tonya Harding, Amy Fisher prepare for 'Celebrity Boxing' — See the Tale of the Tape for this Battle of the Whores.
* Former Arkansas coach Nolan Richardson responds to zero-percent grad rate — Some frank talk from the guy who got sacked after blaming somebody for something for his team's crappy season. Or something. I'm still not sure what happened. I think it's Whitey's fault. Maybe even mine.
* Have iPod, Will Secretly Bootleg — Ripping off software is as easily as plugging your iPod into a computer at CompUSA. Or you can save yourself a trip and download them off a peer-to-peer network. Let's face it, only businesses pay for software.
* 485 Die in India Religious Violence — An atrocity against humanity. Score another one for religious fanaticism, at last count responsible for nearly every conflict in the world.
* Coffin in living room led to Florida incest arrest — Usually it just leads to a really kick-ass party.
* Meet Bikini.com Supermodel Jennifer England: Sports Fanatic — This is where I'm supposed to make a joke about balls, but instead I will remind you that, as hot as this woman is, the words "supermodel" and "bikini.com" do not belong together.
* Wicked Rubber Party at Club Rubber — There are probably three people in this entire L.A. Phonyfest with an original thought in their brains but, hey, nice boobs. Also check out the Pink Valentine Party.
* Stuff's Women's Studies — Choose your favorite among a host of coeds vying for a scholarship. A scholarship as a reward for T&A? Umm, OK.
and see what you missed.
Recent issues include Spring Break, the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Before that we (un)covered Mardi Gras 2002.
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