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The Rite of Spring: Soaking Confederate sluts
Steven passed up on a trip to Cancun to get wild in his own bathroom
Thew new love of my life: Jamie Salé. (Dork boyfriend cropped out.)
Training for the Gay Games also got underway this week
Harry Potter sports his two gold medals for ski jumping
Now that men can get pregnant, women are left with only 15,892 things to complain about
Club Rubber loves New York. And New York loves Club Rubber
Who's going Shannon Nowak's way?
Stacey Simon's got the eye of the tiger. There is no tomorrow!
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MY PALS IN NYC
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* MurphGuide — Updated daily with fun things to do in NYC — bar crawls, happy hour events, booze cruises, etc.
* New York City Bartenders and Patrons — Find out which hotties are slinging drinks before you go out
* Who's on First — Check out this insane bar's photos and comments from co-owner Mark. If I wasn't drinking his beer, I'd be calling the cops
* Mr. Hipster — Witty, impartial reviews of NYC bars and restaurants, plus reviews of the many pop culture domains
* NetworkingGirl — A local event planner determined to get you laid at one of her singles events. Or at least afterward
* Got an NYC-centric site to plug? Let me know.
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Very soon, college students will embark on spring break, a curious title given to a period of time in the winter when co-eds do exactly what they've been doing year-long — getting drunk and not going to class.
For those contemplating a specific destination, allow me to summarize my travails as a Syracuse University spring breaker.
CANCUN, MEXICO (Sophomore, '92)
Pros: Drinking age only 18, Americans with money treated like kings, everyone hooks up there, no shortage of places to go
Cons: Cabbies never have change, you WILL suffer irregular bowel movements for weeks afterward, official city activity appears to be swindling
SOUTH PADRE ISLAND, TEXAS (Junior, '93)
Pros: Drinking allowed on beach, meeting people from another part of the country, town seems to have no rules
Cons: Only a couple gargantuan clubs did much business, places closed too early (1 a.m., I think)
KEY WEST, FLORIDA (Senior, '94)
Pros: Scooters available for rent, more upscale crowd that the trash that stops at Daytona, the locals can teach YOU about partying, nightly wet T-shirt contests at Rumrunners
Cons: Not much of a beach scene. (Sorry, muscleheads.)
And now some spring break-related sites. (And since college kids can't take a digital picture worth a crap, I had to link to wet t-shirt contests that weren't even held during spring break. Thanks a lot, you stupid kids.)
* Loaded Again — A site dedicated to the ancient art of getting drunk, stupid and (sometimes) naked.
* Puke Terms — You might as well learn 'em now, so you know how to answer when asked, "How many times did you bark at the ants?"
* Girl Uses Spring Break to Get Revenge — They say cheaters never win, and this guy sure didn't. He got some nookie on the side, then his girl sent him on a wild-goose chase to Cancun.
* Kick-n-Horse Wet T-Shirt Contest — Looks like it was held in someone's backyard. (More)
* 95.7 The Rock Wet T-Shirt Contest — Mix hoes and booze till fully saturated. Then add water.
* KRAB contest photos — Pictures of wet t-shirt contests that I'm sure no one regrets participating in.
* Alex's Welcome Back Party — These gals missed Alex so much that they allowed men to pour water all over them. Maybe Alex can leave again to buy a digital camera that actually takes good pics.
And, finally, some sage advice: you get what you pay for. That goes for travel, accommodations and activities. Don't believe me?
* Nightmare travel story I
* Nightmare travel story II
SKATEGATE
I have to chime in on the big controversy surrounding the "sport" of pairs figure skating.
FACT: If the French judge says she rated the Canadians lower because of outside influences, maybe the Canadians deserve the gold.
FACT: The Canadian judge rated the Canadians at +.3 over the Russians. All but one other judge had the differential at .1 or even. Now who's biased?
So, the official PaulKatcher.com ruling is this... Canadian skater Jamie Salé is friggin' hot!
Don't think I'd actually waste my time on figure skating if this wasn't the case. Let me also make known that I have always hated Katarina Witt, Steffi Graf and Anna Kournikova, so it's not like I fall for everyone sportswoman who gets some ink.
* Jamie Salé Photos — Reminds me of a brunette version of the Real World Kelley chick I'm also in love with.
* The Better Pair Won The Gold — An editorial in the Washington Post posted when there was only one gold medal awarded — to the Ruskies.
* Kyle's Unofficial Jamie Sale and David Pelletier Site — Just in case you thought no man would ever create a page dedicated to a figure-skating team.
* Fan/Support Buttons — Show the world how much of a dork you are by putting one of these babies on your web site.
* Jamie Salé & David Pelletier Cartoon — And another. I might piss myself.
* Am I Annoying or Not? Figure Skating Collection — Vote on whether these 12 ladies are annoying. My answers: yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes and yes.
RANDOM WEIRDNESS
* Moulette — The only version of online Roulette where the winning number is determined by where a cow takes a crap. In other words, it's one step classier than Atlantic City.
* Video: Human Cannonball Misses Target — This overachiever flies well past the huge, inflated landing pad. (56K and broadband options)
* Russian Roulette vs. The Gimp — The best part of this game is that when you lose, there's no hole left in your head. Well, maybe if you're at Jason Williams' house.
* DeGraeve.com's WGirls — Some familiar Net photos altered just a bit.
* Male Pregnancy — Monitoring the progress of a man who's now eating for two. I'll be eating for none for a while, because I'm about to barf.
* Outsports: Super Bowl Recap — Your favorite gay sports site, and mine, designates Adam Vinatieri it's final Hot Player because he's "a gay-friendly Christian with a great bod." Yeah, well tell me something I don't already know.
* Sports Ramifications of Cloning — A humorous look at what might be in store for the future.
* Steve-O's Dumb Tattoos — Now who could ever regret getting "I Love to Bone" carved into his skin?
* 100 Years, 100 Stinkers: The Worst Films of the 20th Century — Has anyone even seen "Cool as Ice" to know whether it stunk or not? If only "Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter" really was. Five stinkers followed.
* 20 Questions With Mike Tramp — The former lead singer of White Lion participates in the always-revealing Metal Sludge feature. Find out what life is like having gone from playing in front of 18,000 to 100. There's also a new 20 Questions With Jenna Jemeson, but it sucks, save the pictures.
* Tell Him to Marry Me — An Englishwoman is so desperate to marry a ghostly-looking boyfriend that she has posted an embarrassing picture of him to keep up until he says yes.
* Saw a couple good bands last week. I only caught three songs of the opening act, Porn Rock, whom I'd never previously seen. During that time, two gals got naked with the band, which encouraged picture-taking from a throng of pervs. The main act was KISS Nation, one of the multitude of KISS tribute bands. They were great and the crowd was really into it. Not sure if the crowd knew what the word "tribute" meant.
LAND OF THE FREE, HOME OF THE BRAVE
* Muslim Pilgrims Kill Afghan Minister — Those friendly Muslims are at it again, killing people over their obsession with Allah. This time it was because their trip to Mecca was delayed. Their trip to hell, however, is accelerated.
* Saudi Arabia Man to Get 4,750 Lashes For Having Sex With Sister-in-Law — Those Muslim minds working hard for the money. Consenting adults engage in sex and they administer torture that would kinda, maybe, sorta seem to me like a crime against human rights. But hey, they're Muslims so what else is new?
THE NEWSDESK
* Man has sex with goat — Most men have been with cows, so I don't see what the big deal is here. (Thanks, Larry)
* 'Let's Roll' Trademark Battle Is On — How 'bout, "Let's Quit it With the Catch Phrases?" I never even use the term ground zero. It will always be to me the World Trade Center.
* Scientists Find Jurassic Age Dinosaur Vomit — Thanks to Bob Hope for serving as expert consultant.
THE WEEKLY LADIES
* Club Rubber's Boogie Nights Party photos — You know the drill. L.A. hotties get down.
* Women of 39th and Sixth — Stuff magazine grabs chicks off the streets just 11 blocks south of my office. All I ever see on the pavement are Indian dudes hawking Street Meat.
* Planet Shandar — The Internet home of model/actress (aren't they all?) Shannon Nowak. And her home is your home.
* Stacey Simon says go check out StaceySimon.com.
NEXT WEEK
I don't know what the hell I'm doing next week. Send your link suggestions now.
THE ARCHIVE
Missed a week of PaulKatcher.com? Shame on you.
Hit the archive and see what you missed.
Last week, we reviewed the recent history of the Sports Illsutrated Swimsuit Issue. Before that we (un)covered Mardi Gras 2002.
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