My girlfriend and I recently booked this six-night South Florida vacation for next month:
- Two nights in South Beach
- Drive to Key West in rented convertible
- Spend two nights in Key West
- Drive back to South Beach in rented convertible
- Spend two final nights in South Beach
Now is that a vacation or what? So to get me in the mood (and to make you jealous), I present these South Beach images.
* South Beach Bikini Team — I saw them in preseason and I'm expecting a big year from them.
* Club Deep party photos — I've already bought some new duds so they let me in these types of places. I'm relying on my 5-9 blonde girlfriend to come up big for us at the door.
* Pop shots from South Beach clubs — The demographics of these places are 20 percent gay men, 40 percent female models, 20 percent straight male models and 0 percent guys from New York City with web sites.
* Who in their right minds would post bachelorette party photos for the world to see? And list the names of all the attendees? An even better question: Who cares? Check 'em out.
* If you like movies of monkeys' picking their butts, smelling their fingers and falling off a branch as a result of the stench — hey, who doesn't love animals? — then check out Fun Files, featuring hilarious movies sorted by user rating.
* The Zeebarf flash gallery features some funny stuff, like Disorderly: A rock'em sock'em action game set in a retirement home. Watch the bingo cards, man.
* Salary.com has a Personal Salary Report that you can buy for $19.95. It's a 14-page report, but I will dispense this advice for free:
- Never tell an interviewer what you're making. Unless the prospective company is willing to disclose how much all of their employees are making, they have no right to know how much your current company pays you.
- Never tell an interviewer how much you're looking for. Tell them it's too early to tell how much you'd be worth to the prospective company. Not until exact title, hours, reporting and supervising duties are laid out.
- Never take the first offer. Take a shot — you can make thousands more just by asking for it. Many times you're working against experienced HR departments that have played this game countless times. Do you think they always make their best offer first? Or reject a qualified applicant after he probes for better pay?
* Hey, who's in the mood to see incriminating photos of people who've been dumped? I imagine most of these are fake submissions from anonymous people, which is exactly why there are no pictures of me on my site.
* Like everyone else in the country, my daily routine includes paying a visit to the Pauly Shore home page. Not a day goes by when I don't crave the latest news about Pauly's documentary, "Spooge."
OK, I lied. I just found out about the page.
But I remember hearing that, while on MTV, Pauly did all right for himself, as far as ladies are concerned. (Certainly better than Ed Lover.) And sure enough, Pauly's page of ex-girlfriends proves he has some trophies in his collection. And definitely check out his hotties section — just a bunch of pics of him with chicks. So shameless, but so Pauly. His site really is a riot.
* Dilbert's Ultimate Cubicle includes everything but a sack of White Castles.
* If you can't find enough depressing news on CNN or DrudgeReport these days, head to Brutal News, where you can read about hunting accidents and other stories I used to link to before Sept. 11.
* Have you heard about the anti-porn movement called Get (Some) Real? The mission is to litter search engines with phony porn sites, I guess in the hopes that people will give up after finding such searches fruitless. But since link popularity is what makes search engines tick these days, going heavy on meta tags ain't gonna cut it. In fact that's what the real porn sites do, and that's why search engines like Google reject them.
* All about the Bert/Osama connection, including the pictures found on posters of bin Laden supporters, plus stories about the legitimacy of them and the aftermath, including the shutting down of Bert Is Evil. But Bert will always be evil in my book — and a bit of a puss.
* Reports: Hijack Suspects Looked for Hookers in Boston — And was this for Allah, too? Are people stomping on U.S. flags in support of this, too?
* Mobs storm Pakistan city; protester burning U.S. flag catches fire — I wish death on each and every one of these people. Freedom of speech ends when people condone murder of innocent people. It's called terrorism.
* Terrorist or NOT? Can't say I predict great things for this site. Had to check it out to make sure it existed. Now I am asking myself, Why does it exist at all?
* Text of Al-Qaida's statement praising attacks on U.S.; promising more — These terrorists give the misconception that they speak for all Muslims, but we know that's not the case. But there is no middle ground. There are two sides here for everyone — freedom or terrorism. Pick one.
* World Trade Center — Great Buildings Online — This comprehensive page about WTC contains all the resources someone with an interest in architecture could want, as well as color photos of the towers being constructed in the '70s, satellite images of the completed towers and views from the observation deck.
* Rock band Anthrax bemoans "not so cool" name — Yeah, but what about the "not so good" music?
* Police use helicopter for doughnut run — Dude, it was an emergency.
* Burger King workers burn feet — You know those bonding exercises where people walk across hot coals? They don't always work.
* All you professional photographers should head to Christy's Corner and see if she's right for the work you need done. The rest of you can just go stare.
* Tami Tyson is like Mike Tyson, in the sense that most of you would last two minutes with either one.
* Rachel Ayars has some photos of her wearing next to nothing and thought, perhaps, you might want to take a look.
* Windy Dawn Haddad has a unique name and a unique way off getting dressed for a day on the slopes.
1. Jump into the anonymous message board and share some funny, weird, sexy links. Over 1,000 people visit this site each day. If only a small percentage post every now and then, there will be enough content to keep this site active every day.
2. See what you missed in the archive.
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