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The next president, Al Lincoln
And the bonehead he lost to
The funniest show on TV, Primetime Glick
The Naked Cowboy is one of only 1,000 reasons I never venture to Times Square
If anyone knows this man, please have him arrested
Chloe Jones
Darion takes a dip
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The other day, I was "sampling" as much music as possible from my new favorite application, Morpheus, when I asked my girlfriend if there was any music she'd like me to "borrow" for her.
I had expected a sappy '80s request that could induce projectile vomiting of up to 12 feet. A Rick Springfield B-side or something. Instead came the words that will be burned into my memory forever. (Not unlike the songs I "borrowed," which are now burned on CDs forever.)
"Can you find something from Sam Harris?"
Sam Harris? SAM HARRIS? Someone other than me knows the name of Sam Harris, the man who almost single-handedly vaulted Star Search into semi-mediocrity, with his panache for covering Judy Garland songs featuring more glamour and flair than Liberace's wardrobe closet?
I had thought that Sam Harris had long been forgotten. But not according to these Web finds:
- VISIT the Unofficial Fan Page for Sam Harris. "This page was established in January 1997 after I realized that I wasn't the only one looking for information about Sam and his career." You and me both, baby. Read all about Sam's rise to the top.
- RECALL Sam Harris: The Early Years from the home page of the man himself
- SEE pictures of Sam Harris performing at the Suncoast Resort, the self-proclaimed "World's Largest All-Gay Resort and Entertainment Complex." (And here I thought it was the Barbara Streisand wing of Madame Tussaud's wax museum.)
- CONTRIBUTE to the ever-growing debate over when Star Search Jumped the Shark. Here's my favorite so far: "Jumped when every singer started singing "Greatest Love" and pulling off their jacket. Thanks, Sam Harris."
- READ Sam Harris' interview with The Onion. Sam answers all the tough questions, including, "I remember the second album coming out, but I don't remember a whole lot happening with it. What happened there?"
- DISCOVER Sam Harris' discography.
RANDOM WEIRDNESS
* Adult Webmaster School — I wonder if the teacher's assistant carries a mop. Again, my advice on finding adult material on the Web...
- Type google.com into your browser
- Throw rocks at keyboard
- Hit "enter"
- Visit one of eight billion online porn sites
Anyway, here's an interview Salon conducted with the chancellor.
* The Official Cincinnati Bengals Fan Club — Home to ALL of the Bungles fans out there. Presumably the Webmaster and Ickey Woods' family.
* The Pay Phone Project — Disturbingly comprehensive portal of, um, pay phones. News you can lose, but also has the pay phone numbers at the Vatican and the Eiffel Tower, so I guess it could serve some kind of purpose for pranksters.
* See pictures and video of a classic episode of The Richard Bey Show — My Wife Is a Real Turn Off! "Yeah, honey. We're gonna be on TV tonight. I'm gonna to present you as a real skank and lot of gangsta bitches in the audience are going to laugh at you, as will drunken college kids watching from their dorms."
* FBI's Gangster Era files — Don't you just love the Freedom of Information Act? Includes info on Al Capone, "Machine Gun" Kelly and your mother.
* Use the Yahoo! Member Directory to see who has the same warped interests as you, such as Golden Girls, Tony Orlando, and licking cheese doodles.
THE NEWSDESK
* Hooters waitress sues over toy Yoda — She expected a Japanese car and got a toy shriveled booger.
* Brazil actress bares all at 94 for Penthouse — Wasn't this lady Pet of the Year in 1930?
* I saw Bon Jovi at Giants Stadium for the finale of the One Wild Night tour. See reviews of the July 28 show. From what I remember, it was fun.
I also saw Madonna's long-awaited Drowned tour last Thursday at Continental Airlines area. The show was BIG, but not my bag. The big M cancelled her Friday show because of laryngitis, and here's the kicker — it's not being rescheduled. Imagine how the hardcore fans must feel after waiting nine years, plus countless hours in line for tickets. And what about the people who scalped? They're getting only face value back. A lot of people got screwed, for sure.
Read this fan's angry letter to the tour promoters. She got ripped off for $2,000 by scalpers, bought a new outfit, got her hair done, took off work, etc. Whoops.
This has nothing to do with anything, but I found these KISS concert photos online and thought they were great. KISS is well worth the money to see in person.
THE WEEKLY LADIES
* The Brooklyn Kid shares some spring break photos from lovely (and drunk) Daytona Beach.
* New York City Bartenders and Patrons now includes a watering hole located one block from my soon-to-be-former apartment — Who's on First, located at 87 Street and First Avenue in Manhattan. Quote from Webmaster Kevin (who I ran into at the Bon Jovi concert): "The guys all seem to be off-duty firemen and the gals former strippers."
* Taylor Kennedy fills out bikinis well.
* Looks like this Mandy chick is trying to get her modeling career going. All you professional photographers head over there now.
* Tricia Wilds may have been on this site before. Oh, well.
* Lauren's Hot Spot is just that.
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