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Your average, every day 8-year-old bodybuilder
Juice can extend your life ... and your eyebrows
Chia Hair is fun for the whole family
Got milk? Jerry Lawler's wife does
Sure, you can skinnydip. I won't look
No deodorant film whatsoever
Here's me looking at you, kid
Those sure look like fake biceps to me
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When I was eight years old, I was still clearing my calendar on Saturday morning to dive into the animated travails of The Smurfs.
I could not yet bench 200 pounds, like Richard Sandrak, The Little Hercules.
When I saw pictures of him in bodybuilding competitions, I thought it was another cruel Internet prank at the expense of a child.
Nope. The kid is for real.
There's the Richard Sandrak Official Site (where he shows off his bucked teeth AND his six-pack), a fan club and a profile page on some bodybuilding site.
I also found a recap of his appearance on The Howard Stern Show. (I don't know what's more disturbing — this kid or the dudes who vigorously chronicle the Stern show.)
PaulKatcher.com is like FOX News. We report, you decide. Only we're not owned by a partisan, staunch Republican like Rupert Murdoch. So I leave you with these ethical debates:
- Are Sandrak's parents causing him more harm than good by encouraging his "healthy" lifestyle?
- If the kid is happy and leads a law-abiding life, is it any business of ours?
- Is it wrong for parents to post shirtless pictures of boys on the Internet for any reason?
My thoughts:
- At first, I thought this child-rearing example was reprehensible. Some perspective can be found in the fact that there are six billion people in the world. Not all children were brought up like me. Not all of them turned out to be bad people.
- No private actions of law-abiding citizens are any of our business. Not their eating habits, not their sexual habits. Not their child-rearing practices. Nothing.
- Parents need to know the Internet is a dangerous place right now. Doctored photos look pretty darn good these days, and Adobe doesn't always know when it's selling image-editing software to a pedophile.
INFOMERCIALS (a.k.a. JUNK SOLD ON TV)
If it weren't for infomercials, the XFL wouldn't have higher ratings than any shows.
Certainly, my favorite informercial host ever has to be Tony Little. When I was in college at Syracuse University, I'd hear him scream through the TV, "It's technique!"
Damn straight, it's technique. Tony helped me perfect the 12-ounce curl, which I performed to flawlessly with a Bud Light night after night.
You tell me, Is Ron Popeil annoying or not? He's way up there an a list of most-annoying celebrities.
Seriously, though, you must agree that one of the funniest things ever was when he hawked spray paint that covers bald spots. I have a feeling psychic (psychotic?)Gary Spivey used more than the recommended dosage.
The scariest of all the infomercial hosts has to be Jay Kordich, better known by white trash who buy products over the TV as "The Juiceman." When I raise children, I won't care if they sneak into the living room to watch Skinemax, but they're NOT going to watch some alien life form with eyebrows on steroids chug a brown refreshment of squeezed asparagus and wheatgrass.
RANDOM WEIRDNESS
* A highly credible source (The Onion) is reporting that the 1985 Chicago Bears are indeed heading back to the studio to begin work on a long-awaited follow-up album. Considering the way the Bears have been playing for a decade, may I suggest The Toilet Bowl Shuffle?
* Can't afford to have N*SYNC perform at your little girl's (or severely retarded boy's) next birthday party? Then hire SYNC*IN, the tribute band that just might be able to fool a bunch of 10-year-olds into thinking they have millions of dollars. Also available for what has got to be a low fee is Backstreets Back and The Dixie Chicklets.
* Has anyone out there seen Hamburger... The Motion Picture? I loved it when I was a kid. This cinematic gem had it all — comedy, bad comedy, and good nudity — so I wrote a review for Yahoo! Movies. The Hamburger reviews on IMDB are dead-on, too. And someone actually bid on this damn movie on eBay.
* Check out an interview with filmmaker Scott J. Gill about his documentary titled "Pornstar: The Legend of Ron Jeremy."
* Wondering why Jerry Lawler is no longer announcing WWF matches? Read his official statements on his official Web site. Now, if that's not official, I don't know what is.
Lawler's a funny dude. Check out some of his best quotes.
- "Hey Finkel, the last time I saw something like you, I flushed it!"
- "Patterson is so old, he still has a ticket stub from the original David and Goliath match."
- "If Mae Young is going to breast feed, all that baby's going to get is evaporated milk."
Speaking of wrestling, I found a lengthy feature on Ways to Improve X-Pac. (Ways to Improve Chances With Women. No. 1: Don't write about ways to improve pro wrestlers.)
* The Men Who Look Like Kenny Rogers photo gallery made me laugh out loud.
* The Sporting News does a Tale of the Tape between The Brady Bunch's Ann B. Davis and Hornets guard Baron Davis.
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THE NEWSDESK
* Clowns told to get custard pie insurance. (Possible loss of earnings over next 20 years: around $130.)
*Rugger resigns over rectal fouls. (There's no crying in baseball, and there's no sticking fingers up opponents' asses in rugby.)
* MTV sued for potty prank. (Talk about a show that's really gone to shit.)
* Man stops own funeral. ("If anyone here should see reason why this man should not be buried ... yes, you, the dead guy in the back.")
THE WEEKLY LADIES
* Fifty-two galleries of thongs. No ads.
* Fitness model Emily Shannon's gallery.
* Tylene Buck's official site. Her resume comes complete with measurements and a misspelling of the word "collectibles."
* Big Frank's bikini contest.
* A month's worth of supermodel pics.
* Add a daily bikini babe to your home page.
* Real Fitness Babes gallery.
* Brooke Morales portfolio.
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